Use It or Lose It, Procrastinators

Have you ever been called a hoarder? It’s possible that you aren’t exactly a hoarder, but you’re a procrastinator.

Procrastinators have a hard time making decisions. They’re afraid they’ll regret getting rid of something, so they just let it sit. Do that enough times and your house begins to look like a hoarder’s home.

If you’re a procrastinator, have you considered that by not making a decision about whether to keep something, you’re actually punishing yourself? You’re preventing yourself from either enjoying the item, or enjoying the extra space you’ll claim by getting rid of it. Plus you have to deal with that internal struggle every time you see it.

If you really used the item, you wouldn’t be debating with yourself about whether to keep it or not; you would keep it and use it. If you never used the item, it would be easier to just let it go, unless something is preventing you from doing just that.

That “something,” most likely, is that you’re worried about whether you or someone you’re close to might need it “Someday,” that mysterious time in the future. Let me tell you now, if you’re keeping it because your kids might need it someday, forget it. When we made our big decluttering effort, I kept certain special things for my kids. As it turned out, none of them wanted what I saved for them! They’re a different generation and they like different things than I do. Plus they aren’t nearly as sentimental as I am so they have no desire to keep things just because Mom saved them.

All of my kids live in larger homes than I do, and none of them keep a lot of clutter. In fact, one is a dedicated minimalist. I’ve learned that anything I give that one’s children is destined for the donation pile before long. I just hope the kids have fun with it before their mom sends it along to the Goodwill.

So I don’t think my kids have the procrastination problem, and I know I’ve mostly conquered mine. If you have this problem, I hope you conquer it, too. There’s enough stress in this world without adding to it by having an internal debate about things, mere things, that we can’t decide whether to keep or not.

The Keepsake Solution

My young daughter’s quilt sketch

I found this while cleaning out my sewing files the other day. It’s a sketch one of my daughters made when I was teaching her how to make a quilt, when she was around 10 or so. She was so proud of the quilt she made from that sketch. Finding the sketch brought a sweet memory back to me.

But keeping the sketch, along with a lot of other papers that were overfilling my file drawer, is not an option. I need the room for my current files.

What to do?

This is where the camera comes in handy. I have a tablet and a phone, and both have cameras. It’s so easy to just take a snapshot of a keepsake and then get rid of it. Whenever I want to go back in time and indulge in nostalgia, I can go through my photos of various items that jog memories. It’s that easy. And it’s one of the most effective ways to conquer clutter that I know.

Your Most Precious Treasures

We’re getting close to Christmas, when almost everyone’s clutter load increases due to gifts given to them, and gifts they gave to themselves while they were out shopping for others. On Black Friday, I couldn’t help but notice that most of the people I know who go out that day for bargain prices on gifts come home with many things for themselves. I had to wonder how much of that stuff they really even needed.

Some people will use or wear their gifts (to themselves or from others) for a while, but many will just add them to their already overwhelmingly large group of belongings. It seems as though the people who tend to collect things are the ones who keep the most gifts, even if they don’t use them.

For those who do this, decluttering is too overwhelming to contemplate. Whenever they’ve tried, they’ve given up fairly soon in the process. Seeing how much stuff they have tucked away in closets, the attic, the basement, the garage and maybe even in storage units is just too much to think about. As for the poor souls who have so much clutter that it has spilled out all over their homes, forcing them to create paths through the piles of stuff, well, overwhelming may not be a strong enough word.

I know someone like this. When they had a cat, they would often lose it….in the house. That’s just plain scary! I would love to help this person declutter, but they would never accept my help. So I’m putting a tip out here for those of you whose homes have almost reached hoarder status, as well as for that person, should they ever stumble onto my blog.

If you really want to declutter your home, but you don’t know where to start, you need to make a list. But you can’t do it at home. You must do it away from home: at a coffee shop, in your car while parked at a scenic spot, or on the train as you commute to work. Pick a spot where you can write uninterrupted, and bring a pen and paper, your tablet, your phone, whatever you like to take notes with.

Once you’re alone, situated, and ready to write or type, make a list of your most treasured possessions:

  • Think of the things you would hope to have time to remove from your house in case of fire.
  • Think of things you use all the time, things that you would be lost without.
  • Think of things you treasure because someone you love gave them to you.

Spend 15 minutes at most working on this list, and then stop.

Almost certainly, you will come up with more things after you stop writing or typing. Don’t add them to the list. Keep the list as it was when you stopped.

When you get home, look around your house. Do you see all of the treasured possessions that you put on your list, or are some tucked away where you can’t see them? What about the things that popped into your head after you stopped making the list? Can you see them? Or are they also buried somewhere in your house?

Perhaps you’re seeing things in your house that you completely forgot when you made the list and even afterwards. No, you can’t add them to the list, but I’ll bet you wish you could. You see, your love of so many things is how you got into this mess in the first place. When you see your things, you can always think of reasons to keep them. Either you love them, or they were useful to you in the past, or you think you’ll need them in the future, or perhaps you’re saving them for someone you care about who might need them someday.

You’re attached to too many things, and that’s why you live with clutter. If it didn’t bother you, you wouldn’t have a desire to declutter your home. But it does bother you. You just don’t know how to make yourself let all these things go.

There are strategies for decluttering when you’re attached to so much stuff. I’ve explained many of them in my book, The Sentimental Person’s Guide to Decluttering.* I lived this reality when we downsized our lives and had to move from a huge house to a little one. There was no room for most of our belongings so we had to let…them…go.

As painful as it was, it was also incredibly freeing to give up so much stuff. At times, I still have to squelch the impulse to keep everything, but I remind myself how good it feels to live without clutter. Then I fill my car’s trunk with things we don’t need anymore and head over to the drive-up at Goodwill before I can change my mind. I usually forget what I donated fairly quickly.

Next time, I’ll tell you what to do with that list you made.

*Print version coming soon!