A History of Personal Clutter

Last week I mentioned that as I’ve aged, I’ve come to prefer a less cluttered home. What I didn’t say was that I used to have a very cluttered home. Not that I was a hoarder, but I now understand that in my youth, it was very important to have everything I loved nearby…and I loved almost everything!

I grew up in a home where we were not allowed to put anything on the walls or to rearrange the furniture. My mother was very much in charge of how our rooms looked, so they looked pretty sparse, although I managed to squirrel away quite a few things in my side of the closet and on my side of the dresser.

Then I grew up and went away to college: freedom! I quickly set up my side of the dorm room with all of my beloved items and then some. By the time I had my own room during junior year, I had accumulated some real furniture, a TV, plants, and other assorted stuff. The walls were covered with many photos, a bulletin board (similarly covered) and several posters, including a 6’ version of my then-favorite actor.

Just before senior year, I got married to someone who kept everything (though he didn’t have as much stuff as I did because guys don’t usually overcollect like women do). We were fortunate that our tiny one-bedroom apartment had a storage closet, which we filled to the brim.

Of course we continued to collect things, as we moved from one apartment to another, and then to our first house. By the time our first child arrived, four years after our marriage, we were well on our way to filling that house. And so it went as each child arrived over the years.

During those years, I could only dream about having a less cluttered home. My attempts at decluttering always fell short because I had so many other things to do. Then we had the big purge after giving up our large family home, and I began to enjoy having more than just the living room uncluttered. Now I have far less clutter than I’ve ever lived with.

Losing clutter as I’ve aged is my own personal history, but I don’t think it’s the norm for people approaching retirement age (like I am). If anything, most of the people I know who are around my age have more stuff than they’ll ever be able to use. I wonder if the decluttering movement has affected more younger people than older ones?

Clutter Variations in One House

It’s easy to think of a house as being either cluttered or uncluttered. But the reality is that we often vary the amounts of clutter in the rooms of our homes depending on our needs.

For instance, back when we were raising children, we allowed them to decorate their rooms as they wished, and we only intervened in reducing their clutter level when it became difficult to walk across the room. Yet through all those child-rearing years, our living room remained uncluttered because we felt there should be one room that was always nice and clear, for us and for visitors.

Today, we try to keep most of our house uncluttered. The exception is the storage area of our basement, which is packed pretty tightly with things we need, but not right now.

Your purposes for creating an uncluttered home may vary. Perhaps you have toddlers or small children, and keeping the house uncluttered means fewer broken items. Or maybe you just love having clean, uncluttered rooms even though you have to work hard to keep them that way.

Another reason is that you’re going to put your house on the market, and you want it to look clean and roomy. When we put previous homes on the market, our realtors told us to pare down everything because potential buyers want to picture themselves in the house, and too many personal items will make that unlikely. I never agreed with that, arguing that it’s easy to judge a house on its own merits whether or not there are family photos on the wall.

But these days many people are selling vacant homes, or else they’ve stripped their homes of not only personal effects but even extraneous furnishings and décor. This is the result of the popularity of staging, which has been in vogue for at least 10 years. And I find that when I look in homes at realtor.com (not because we’re moving, but because I’m nosy and I like to see what people do with their homes), most have been stripped of everything but basic furniture and a few decorative pieces.

I didn’t realize how much I prefer this look now until I hit upon the occasional house that has not been cleaned up, much less staged, and is instead teeming with everything: walls covered with photos, framed pictures, bric-a-brac and those big decals that say things like “Live…Laugh…Love,” sofas covered with afghans and pillows, side tables with a lamp surrounded by clutter, bedrooms with exercise equipment surrounding the bed…you get the idea. It’s almost claustrophobic, and now I know what the realtors meant: you can’t really see the house because it’s so full of everything.

So whether you prefer a completely decluttered home, or just the main areas looking clean and open, it’s your choice. Speaking only for myself, I’ve found that as I’ve aged, I prefer every room to have open space and only our very favorite items on the walls. It just makes me more comfortable.

Use It or Lose It, Procrastinators

Have you ever been called a hoarder? It’s possible that you aren’t exactly a hoarder, but you’re a procrastinator.

Procrastinators have a hard time making decisions. They’re afraid they’ll regret getting rid of something, so they just let it sit. Do that enough times and your house begins to look like a hoarder’s home.

If you’re a procrastinator, have you considered that by not making a decision about whether to keep something, you’re actually punishing yourself? You’re preventing yourself from either enjoying the item, or enjoying the extra space you’ll claim by getting rid of it. Plus you have to deal with that internal struggle every time you see it.

If you really used the item, you wouldn’t be debating with yourself about whether to keep it or not; you would keep it and use it. If you never used the item, it would be easier to just let it go, unless something is preventing you from doing just that.

That “something,” most likely, is that you’re worried about whether you or someone you’re close to might need it “Someday,” that mysterious time in the future. Let me tell you now, if you’re keeping it because your kids might need it someday, forget it. When we made our big decluttering effort, I kept certain special things for my kids. As it turned out, none of them wanted what I saved for them! They’re a different generation and they like different things than I do. Plus they aren’t nearly as sentimental as I am so they have no desire to keep things just because Mom saved them.

All of my kids live in larger homes than I do, and none of them keep a lot of clutter. In fact, one is a dedicated minimalist. I’ve learned that anything I give that one’s children is destined for the donation pile before long. I just hope the kids have fun with it before their mom sends it along to the Goodwill.

So I don’t think my kids have the procrastination problem, and I know I’ve mostly conquered mine. If you have this problem, I hope you conquer it, too. There’s enough stress in this world without adding to it by having an internal debate about things, mere things, that we can’t decide whether to keep or not.

A Stash Like No Other

I read a lot of sewing blogs, and one thing I’ve noticed is that during the lockdown, sewists have been working hard to reduce their fabric stashes.

A fabric stash isn’t like an overstock of mugs in your cupboard or too many towels in your linen closet. Those things are easy to get rid of and easily replaced. Fabric is not as easy to replace, and it costs a lot more money to do so.

Sewists who primarily sew clothes usually have pieces of 2-6 yards in their fabric stash. With quality fabric now costing as much as $15-25 a yard, we’re talking quite an investment. So it’s in a sewist’s best interest to make something from their stash rather than let it just sit there and rot (many fabrics fade and even rot over time).

Some sewists keep a running total of how many yards they’ve bought and how many they’ve used each year. This year the total bought is usually lower because many fabric merchants have been shut down or slowed down by the Covid lockdown. So some sewists’ outgo has exceeded purchases by quite a bit. In fact, many are using up 10-20 yards a month. Thus they are steadily reducing their fabric stashes and regaining space in the process.

Food, supply and fabric stashes are probably the only ones I encourage. Everything else should be reduced down to just what you need if you want to enjoy having an uncluttered home.