A History of Personal Clutter

Last week I mentioned that as I’ve aged, I’ve come to prefer a less cluttered home. What I didn’t say was that I used to have a very cluttered home. Not that I was a hoarder, but I now understand that in my youth, it was very important to have everything I loved nearby…and I loved almost everything!

I grew up in a home where we were not allowed to put anything on the walls or to rearrange the furniture. My mother was very much in charge of how our rooms looked, so they looked pretty sparse, although I managed to squirrel away quite a few things in my side of the closet and on my side of the dresser.

Then I grew up and went away to college: freedom! I quickly set up my side of the dorm room with all of my beloved items and then some. By the time I had my own room during junior year, I had accumulated some real furniture, a TV, plants, and other assorted stuff. The walls were covered with many photos, a bulletin board (similarly covered) and several posters, including a 6’ version of my then-favorite actor.

Just before senior year, I got married to someone who kept everything (though he didn’t have as much stuff as I did because guys don’t usually overcollect like women do). We were fortunate that our tiny one-bedroom apartment had a storage closet, which we filled to the brim.

Of course we continued to collect things, as we moved from one apartment to another, and then to our first house. By the time our first child arrived, four years after our marriage, we were well on our way to filling that house. And so it went as each child arrived over the years.

During those years, I could only dream about having a less cluttered home. My attempts at decluttering always fell short because I had so many other things to do. Then we had the big purge after giving up our large family home, and I began to enjoy having more than just the living room uncluttered. Now I have far less clutter than I’ve ever lived with.

Losing clutter as I’ve aged is my own personal history, but I don’t think it’s the norm for people approaching retirement age (like I am). If anything, most of the people I know who are around my age have more stuff than they’ll ever be able to use. I wonder if the decluttering movement has affected more younger people than older ones?

Clutter Variations in One House

It’s easy to think of a house as being either cluttered or uncluttered. But the reality is that we often vary the amounts of clutter in the rooms of our homes depending on our needs.

For instance, back when we were raising children, we allowed them to decorate their rooms as they wished, and we only intervened in reducing their clutter level when it became difficult to walk across the room. Yet through all those child-rearing years, our living room remained uncluttered because we felt there should be one room that was always nice and clear, for us and for visitors.

Today, we try to keep most of our house uncluttered. The exception is the storage area of our basement, which is packed pretty tightly with things we need, but not right now.

Your purposes for creating an uncluttered home may vary. Perhaps you have toddlers or small children, and keeping the house uncluttered means fewer broken items. Or maybe you just love having clean, uncluttered rooms even though you have to work hard to keep them that way.

Another reason is that you’re going to put your house on the market, and you want it to look clean and roomy. When we put previous homes on the market, our realtors told us to pare down everything because potential buyers want to picture themselves in the house, and too many personal items will make that unlikely. I never agreed with that, arguing that it’s easy to judge a house on its own merits whether or not there are family photos on the wall.

But these days many people are selling vacant homes, or else they’ve stripped their homes of not only personal effects but even extraneous furnishings and décor. This is the result of the popularity of staging, which has been in vogue for at least 10 years. And I find that when I look in homes at realtor.com (not because we’re moving, but because I’m nosy and I like to see what people do with their homes), most have been stripped of everything but basic furniture and a few decorative pieces.

I didn’t realize how much I prefer this look now until I hit upon the occasional house that has not been cleaned up, much less staged, and is instead teeming with everything: walls covered with photos, framed pictures, bric-a-brac and those big decals that say things like “Live…Laugh…Love,” sofas covered with afghans and pillows, side tables with a lamp surrounded by clutter, bedrooms with exercise equipment surrounding the bed…you get the idea. It’s almost claustrophobic, and now I know what the realtors meant: you can’t really see the house because it’s so full of everything.

So whether you prefer a completely decluttered home, or just the main areas looking clean and open, it’s your choice. Speaking only for myself, I’ve found that as I’ve aged, I prefer every room to have open space and only our very favorite items on the walls. It just makes me more comfortable.

Second Thoughts About Decluttering

Yes, I know I said this time of lockdown is a good opportunity for decluttering, even though most thrift stores are closed and there’s nowhere to donate our unwanted clutter. But some items in the news have given me second thoughts.

JC Penney’s has been in bad shape for quite a while and now they are shutting down. Ditto for Neiman Marcus.  Yes, you can buy clothes online, but thanks to the virus, supply lines are down and inventory has been greatly affected. Even appliances aren’t always easy to find now. For instance, people have been buying up freezers to store meat; at the local chain appliance store, there is not a freezer to be found under $2,500.

So I’m thinking we shouldn’t get rid of things unless we already have their replacements. The virus has changed everything and we don’t know what to expect. So let’s hang on to things we might need down the road until we see how things shake out.

Stuffocation is Just the Right Word

British television chef and author Nigella Lawson describes her habit of being messy and hanging on to things (including empty mustard jars) far longer than she should as being something that creates “stuffocation.”

What a great word! It brings instant thoughts of being overwhelmed by too much clutter to the point that you can’t breathe. Sure wish I’d thought of that word!