British television chef and author Nigella Lawson describes her habit of being messy and hanging on to things (including empty mustard jars) far longer than she should as being something that creates “stuffocation.”
What a great word! It brings instant thoughts of being overwhelmed by too much clutter to the point that you can’t breathe. Sure wish I’d thought of that word!
Within our extended family, there is a pair of married packrats. Their house achieved hoarder status long ago, with tall piles of junk lining paths through rooms. No one has been in their dining room for 20 years because the floor is covered with piles of stuff; you can’t even see the table or chairs.
It sets off my claustrophobia to see teetering piles of stuff on every surface. I don’t really like eating at their house on holidays or birthdays because their kitchen counters have so much stuff on them that I don’t see how they can possibly keep them clean enough to prepare food. My adult kids won’t go there anymore because it’s too hard to keep their toddlers safe.
So I have a very hard time visiting these two relatives. I just want to back up the truck and clean that place out. I don’t know how they stand all that mess. But I suspect that there’s some kind of competition going on.
You see, they use each other’s clutter as an excuse for keeping their own. When one brings home more stuff, the other declares that they shouldn’t have to give up any of their own clutter just to make room for their spouse to bring home things they’ve bought. The result is a steadily filling house.
It’s hard enough for an individual to conquer their clutter issues. But it’s twice as hard when it involves a couple. There’s no one there to encourage them to get a handle on the mess. Instead, they keep adding to it.
Interestingly, no one in the family ever comments on the piles of stuff surrounding us as we sit and visit. After all, they’re both middle-aged adults, and we’re not their mommies. But I guarantee, many of us are thinking, “Get a dumpster! STAT!”
There’s always a reason why someone becomes a hoarder. For some people, it has to do with a particularly traumatic upbringing. Others may have extreme difficulty making decisions about what to throw out, or what to keep. Some people find security in owning every single thing they might possibly need someday.
Then there’s this guy. He was supposed to share an inherited New York City brownstone with his brother. Instead, he holed up in the $10 million home and spent the last seven years filling it with….well, with everything. This worked for a long time, but now his brother is taking him to court.
When someone lives with so much accumulated clutter, there’s always a reason for it. Some reasons, however, are more obvious than others.
…that my husband isn’t a hoarder. He does like to collect a few things, but nothing I can’t live with.