For me, this time of year always brings back fond memories of going to (or back to) college. That first year, I think I brought everything but the kitchen sink with me: clothes, books, plants, sewing machine, stereo with large speakers, bedding…you name it. Then once I got settled in, I bought more items to personalize my half of one small and very overcrowded dorm room.

After a few semesters, I became part of the crew that helped students move in every August, and I learned what the rest of the crew already knew: the girls brought far more stuff than the guys. Most of the guys didn’t even need help getting their belongings into the elevator and up to their room. But the girls….a few arrived in two cars because one car could not hold all of their belongings. I was fortunate that my father owned a large van, so I brought everything I wanted with room to spare.

I’m old enough (and have raised enough children) to know that no matter what society says, women and men are wired differently. My girls always liked their bedrooms well-decorated in their taste so they’d be comfortable. Meanwhile, my boys were comfortable as long as there was a bed to flop on.

Women tend to put more importance on feathering their nests than men do, and this brings with it the danger of having too many things and being unable to find places for it all. This was true of me for most of my life. Even after what we went through during our downsizing, I still have to police myself to make sure I don’t start keeping too much again. I’ve been learning how wonderful simplicity can be, and how nice something lovely looks when it’s not crowded by lots of other things that aren’t nearly as lovely.

So instead of covering every inch of available wall space with posters and mementos as I did in my first dorm room, I now have a large beautiful quilt and two small framed items on the wall of my sewing room. Photos of potential future projects are found in my files and on my Pinterest page instead of being crowded onto a bulletin board on another wall.

I suspect the female propensity for feathering the nest explains why most “decluttering experts” are women. We understand that need we have for creating a comfortable and inviting environment, and how easily it can get out of control, and why.